Unknown Emotion

it has been such a long day for me. i wasnt able to attend the meeting de avance because  was busy with my company drinking. and unfortunately, hanne got drunk. since nafeel kong totoo akong kaibigan, hindi ko sha iniwan. ayun. nabugbog niya tuloy ako ng sobra. hay. na-twist nia pa yung neck ko. take note, it hurts like hell man.

anyway. the story went on. (secret na namin ni hanne kung anong mga nanyare at kung anong mga napagusapan namin.)

so ayun, since i was super mega ultra scared kay hanne, i asked mine to text her dadeee. so ayun. nagpunta sha. i wasnt expecting much naman because i know she's damn busy with school shit pero ayun, dumating sha.

and we spent some time together. sobrang kulit pa nga namin eh. as in. and sobrang sweet pa. tos nung umalis na sha, sad na ko ulit..

i really dont know why am i acting so weird ngayon. is it because of the neck pain that hanne gave me? or even the headache which i got from drinking 4 plato poison? or is it mainly because of this unknown feeling that eats my soul down? sabe nga ni janine, sana lasing nlang din ako para kahit pano nasabi ko lahat ng gusto kong sabihin. pero ano yung mga sasabihin ko? meron ba? may iiiyakpa kaya ako?

hay.. wala nmang problema satin eh, wag ka mag-alala. walang mali sayo, ako yun. walang kulang sayo, ako yung may pagkukulang. walang mali, walang kulang, walang sobra, hndi ikw, AKO.

what is this lurking inside me? what is this pain that's eating me? why am i feeling this? hndi ko na tlga alam.. sa positibong aspeto, bka nman kase magkakaron na ko kaya ganito.. bka naman namimis lang kita.. cge titignan ko nlang sa aspetong yun, bka sakaling mapaniwala ko ang sarili ko na hindi ka pa pagod, na hindi ka pa nagsasawa. oo. pagod. nattakot akong marinig na bka sa ugaling kong daig pa si poncio pilato eh pagod ka na. o hndi kaya naman sa mga pagiinarte ko at sa kung paano ako magpatweetums tuwing anjan ka eh sawa ka na.. alin kaya sa dalawa?

ano bang mali? ano bang kulang? ano bang sobra? hindi ko na alam.. bsta ang alam ko natatakot nnman ako.. damang-dama ko kase na mahal na mahal kita. kaya eto ntatakot nnman ako. hay, sabi nga ni hanne nung matino pa ang pag-uutak niya, "tatagal bsta wag AKO matakot."

sana..

sana..

sana..

ang daming sana. hay..

bsta kahit ano mangyari, mahal ko sha tlga eh. mahal na mahal..

Questions..

[1]
I wanna know why this feels so right
i wanna know why u hold me tight 
each and every night, it keeps me up all night
thinkin about the things i like
can't believe your in my life
i wanna know why ur the one
the things that they should have you've already done
god sent u straight to me
you make me wanna sing lalalalala

[chorus]
but when u look at me, do u see ur wife?
can u picture us lovin' each other for life?
are u playin' the role, just like the rest
these are the questions that i ask myself
if, another should come, who's finer than me
and she wanna take ur love away, would u leave?
baby please answer these question

[2]
could this be my whole fantasy
maybe u could just be too good for me
if i don't wake then i won't see
cuz if im not the one u met, then who is in me
in the mist of the tears how come, i love u more, and more, and more
i never longed for no one, yes its true
seems like this questions keep me here with me


[bridge]
if u, really wanna be with me
then ill say, i love u endlessly
one thing that i really wanna know
will this end or will this grow 
and now if u really be wanna be with 
ill love u endlessly
one thing that i really wanna know
will this end or will this grow

AIN'T NOTHING WRONG

You comin off innocent actin all nervous and
Girl I can tell that you been here before
By the way that you pop your hips
and the way that you bite your lip
Girl you a trip

And I know that your lovin when hittin it feels like forever
when we're doin it ooh ooh aah aah
Damn i like it and it dont really matter when we're doin it girl
dont front just come with it ooh
Ooh aah aah damn and girl there aint nothin wrong

When we be freakin it babe
aint nothin wrong
If you be into it babe
Aint nothin wrong
Scream if u gotta boo aint nobody mad at u babe
aint nothin wrong
aint nothin Wrong When we be hittin it babe
aint nothin wrong if you be diggin it babe
aint nothin wrong
Scream if u gotta boo aint nobody mad at u babe
aint nothin wrong
aint nothin wrong

It's ok to be into me if you wanna experiment baby
I'm down go where you wanna go
I'ma lay you down right tonite
from 0 to 69 on your mark get ready set go

Cuz there aint nothin wrong
with the way you freakin me
there aint nothin wrong be the way you wanna be
there aint nothin wrong dont think about it
i said there aint nothin there aint nothin
There aint nothin wrong
cuz there aint nothin wrong with the way we get it on
there aint nothin wrong
go ahead and tell your mom
there aint nothin wrong
dont think about it i said there aint nothin
there aint nothin
aint nothin wrong

There aint nothin wrong
there aint nothin wrong
there aint nothin wrong
i said there aint nothin
There aint nothin
cuz there aint nothin wrong

wahaha. eto na ata ang bagong uso ngayon, katamaran ang pagbblog. i guess wala lang ako dapat iblog? ayy.. actually madame, pero shempre ndi para sa lahat ng tao kung ano man yun dba? only to selected people. shempre, sila yung mga uber closeness friends. haha.

anywei, ito kame sa gox cause we're waiting for our turn to enroll??? dapat kase yesterday eh, eh bulok yung system ng school ko kaya namove today, (sayang ang cut sa artcomp..) so ngayon nagcut nnman ako ng everybody's favorite subject, BIOARTS. yey. ang bad tlga ng mga tao dun sa prof na yun. wala kase shang alam eh.. one time we asked him, kung cnong prof mganda for innerscie or chem and guss what he just told us his very famous I DONT KNOW. my god! does he know anything?? ayyy, tus patok pa one time while discussing cancer shit, hirit nia, "all of a suddenly" parang ako, WHAT?!?!?! eh during that time ndi ako nakikinig cause im fixing my sched for next term.. tus bgla ako nagising.. hahaha. patok. so yun. i just hope i wont see that prof ever after. haha. tus yesterday, (since everybody thought that it was our enrollment already) sobrang minamadali namin si miss tan, tus half of my body was already outside the classroom, aba shempre when she turned her attention towards the other half of the class shempre labas na ko agad. tus nico and i were running. eto pa ang kahiya dun, I WAS WEARING MY SHS JACKET. am just too proud to be an shsian or what??? haha. and then we ended up with nothing. except i got 15 points for my late exer7 sa artcomp. hhay. sometimes it's not worth to be honest. sir narvaez kase naging honest na nga ako ndi pa den ako bnigyan ng add points. hhay.

we got our alge quiz results already. i was 8 points ahead of the passing rate. haha. lucky me. tus sabi ni ms. hernandez, "oi ikaw halatang nag-cram ka ha." haha. i actually didnt cram, i didnt study at all. haha. kaya sobrang swerte. pero promise my next quiz will be way up high na. im just praying for my kaspil quiz. sana naman pumasa na ko. i dont want to repeat kaspil next term or even sa summer noh. NO WAY.

hhay. even though im not aiming for dL this term, i just hope i wont have any failed subjects.. sana lang...

1 hour, 23 minutes to go before id 105.

bagal ng time, havent eaten my lunch yet..

cge later nlang.

ciao!

we just had our LaSallian Enrichment Alternative Program, and fortunately for nico and i, we were able to enroll ourselves sa STREET 4. yey. streetdance sha sponsored by BnE. i don't know what BnE means. sorry. so aun. it was so tiring but we were able to learn the steps of more to life by stacy orrico. aun. shempre, in the end we had back pains etc. haha.

yesterday we had our PE class, and we had our one on one practical. GUESS WHAT. i won. 3 rounds. yebah. i cant believe that i was able to win those games ah. i even asked pam to shoot one more para naman 3-2 score namin. then i same thing with with germaine. haha. david was there watching pa our first game. tpos yun. he was such a good coach. aaaw.. tnx david! 

then dianne was there to pick me up. our original plan was to have dinner sa timog. but then her mom called. so change plans. we had our diner sa place nia. yummy yung food kaya lang cant eat properly, kase nman blech yung gum ko namamaga. i cant even talk properly. so yun. tpos i slept sa haus nia. haha.

and the rest is.. i dont know na.

+++

i never felt this scared until you came into my life. im scared of living this life without you.

if you just know how much i love you..

you'll probably see that my heart is hurting..

i love you babe..